Saturday, November 8, 2008

Lifestyles of the Rich and Unemployed!

I'm back again! Smiley face!

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When you're hurt, and can't work, you call AFLAC. So when you're rich and don't work, what do you do? Well, you could swim around in your money, a la Scrooge McDuck, or you can actually do something productive like a man named Manet. Not Monet. That's someone else. I'm talking Édouard Manet (note that I successfully got that "e" with a little line on top), the man that was so rich (due to his family, of course) that instead of going to law school or getting an actually productive job, he decided to paint. And, being a man that didn't need money, he didn't have to follow the rules of the Academy of Fine Arts (Académie des Beaux-Arts)--which you had to do if you wanted to make a living off of your art--so he just did his 'own thing'. Which resulted in pieces like this one, Luncheon on the Grass (Le déjeuner sur l'herbe, 1863).

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If you're looking at this and thinking, "This looks like a painting to me," you're right. It is a painting. But If you failed to notice...there's kind of a naked woman right in the middle of the painting. That's why the Academy didn't want it. Sure, they have tons of paintings of naked women in their Salon. But this isn't a foreigner or a Goddess. She's very much French. And that's bad. But remember, Manet had lots and lots of money. So he doesn't need people to like it. All that matters to him is that he likes it. You know who else has so much money that they don't need a real job? Here's a hint:

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Still don't have it? Here's another hint: Her name starts with Paris and ends in Hilton. Paris Hilton has been filthy rich since she was born, and, like Manet, has decided to use her free time to explore the arts. She's tried acting, and was in House of Wax, in which she played some blond bimbo, a role which she has been preparing for for 24 years. Deciding that that wasn't enough, she even decided to record an album. It wasn't very good. But does that matter? Of course not! Paris doesn't do all this for money! She does it because she doesn't have a real job! Just like Manet, Paris Hilton is a rich kid who devotes her time to the arts...only Manet was actually good at what he did. While acting, singing, dancing, and modeling are things she sucks at, she is good at one thing: screaming. She even won an award for that. But if screaming isn't something that Paris wants to do, perhaps she should try her hand at painting. It worked for Manet.

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I'm so mean...

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